you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
