Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
