when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
