i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
