My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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