dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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