oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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