Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
