It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
