You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
