Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
