How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
