Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
