I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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