you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
