Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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