The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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