i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
