ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
