I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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