its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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