have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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