were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
