windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
