Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
