Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
