you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
