Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
