I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
