im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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