we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
