Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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