My first STD was from a foam party
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Randomize
