is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
someone owes me an orgasm
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
