Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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