A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
