there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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