The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
