Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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