Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize