How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
