no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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