You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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