Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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