Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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