U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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