nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
