You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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