I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
