No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The power of my boobs compel you
He did a backflip because drugs
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
